I remember meeting a young woman who longed to date a nice guy, and wondered where she could find one. I began asking about her life, and she said that she was currently dating a cheater who was also a drinker and a drug dealer. He also swore constantly, and her parents hated him. Her friends chimed in about how bad most guys are, and gave an example:
"The guys at the parties have been such jerks lately. A couple of weekends ago, they just went up to this one girl and poured a beer on her head. We were all really mad, and then they did it again the next weekend, and again last weekend."
"So," I asked them, "What are you doing this weekend?" Their reply? "We're going to a party."
The girls were causing their own problems. We choose our friends. It's that simple. You might think, "But I don't want to go hang out with losers." Not all people outside of your circle of friends are losers. Just as it would not be right for someone to label you because of your friends, it is not right for you to label others, without knowing them.
When it comes to pulling away from your bad friends, I think this tends to happen almost naturally when a person makes a real commitment to Christ. It does not mean that you turn your back on them, but what were once common interests (such as drinking, etc.) will cease to be a common interest. I lost several friends when I was a junior in high school and began to take my faith more seriously. The same happened to Crystalina. The following is a letter she wrote to her future husband while she was in high school:
It's Friday night and my so-called friends have just left, and I feel incredibly alone! They all came over in their little skirts and tight shirts, wanting me to go clubbing. It was a normal Friday night thing to do. They were drinking and tried so hard to convince me to go, and it was very tempting. I felt pulled in two separate directions, and part of me did want to go. But my other half knew what was waiting for me there. I couldn't. As they left my house frustrated, I could hear them saying, What? She thinks she's too good for us now?' I'm slowly starting to feel like a stranger to my friends. Is all this trouble, tears, and sadness worth it in the long run? Do I really know what I'm doing? I know there is something better than this and I'm trying to see that. But at times like this, it's hard. I'm praying for you. Know I give all this to you.
Giving you all my love,
By breaking off our bad attachments, we opened the door to find each other in a better environment. It was a gradual thing, and we both were able to find friends who supported our lifestyle, as opposed to those who had worn it down. So start looking. Don't fear what you will lose. Hope in what you have to gain.