I'm 16, and I really want to have a baby. Why is that so bad?

Your desire to be a mother is wonderful. All too often today, women are fooled into thinking that fertility is a curse, and motherhood is a second-class job. Nothing could be further from the truth.

However, your timing is off. Many girls who want a baby think about how they could love him and cuddle him and care for him. It's almost like a child wanting a puppy. She feels enamored by the idea of having a baby, but she forgets to consider the fact that being born to an unwed teen mom isn't best for the child.

For example, kids born to single mothers are far more likely to become involved with crime, live under the poverty level, become unwed parents themselves, become involved in drugs, and do poorly in school. In response to this, some say, "well, we can't base our lives on statistics." These are the people who could not care less about their children.

If you really love kids, then you will give yours the best. For example, you'll get a college degree so you can be an example to them of setting high goals in life. You'll marry a man of God, and you'll be financially stable with your husband before bringing them into the world. Affording a baby is a full time job, and raising a baby is a full time job. That’s two jobs, not one. That’s why God requires two people to make one baby, ideally a husband and wife. Refusing to do this makes you really question the motives of the mom.

Some girls are scared to death of getting pregnant in high school, while others long for it. Maybe they see the attention their pregnant friends receive. Maybe their own families are dysfunctional, and so they want to start new ones. Maybe they want to use pregnancy as a way to keep a guy. Or, maybe they just think babies are really cute. Either way, they choose to place the personal motives, emotional feelings, or the pleasure of sex above the well being of a child. It's saying, "I don't care if you deserve a stable family. I want sex, I want to keep this guy, or I want my own cute baby."

I cannot tell you how many teenage moms I've met who knew that the father would be a great dad, but the dead-beat was long gone by the end of the first trimester. In fact, 8 out of 10 unwed fathers never marry the teen mother of their baby.[1] Other dads try to talk her into an abortion, with no regard for the life of the baby or the emotional, physical, and spiritual consequences the mother pays for.

So, take that good desire you have for motherhood, and channel it into making smart choices for your future, so you can give your kids the best family imaginable. The real measure of your love for kids is not how badly you want to have them, but how badly you want to give them the best life possible. That’s how much you love babies.

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[1]. R. A. Maynard, ed., "Kids Having Kids: A Robin Hood Foundation Special Report on the Costs of Adolescent Child Bearing" (New York, NY: Robin Hood Foundation, 1996), 18.