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If you really want to change your parents' opinion of this guy, then you have to do the one thing you dislike the most. Obey them. You see, if you really hope that this relationship will last, realize that the more you defy or deceive your parents, the more resentment you will create. How is your boyfriend supposed to win their respect while openly going against their will?
It will never happen that way. For example, I have a dog known as a Mastiff, and these breeds can grow to weigh over 350 pounds. When she and I play tug-of-war, the harder I pull, the more she digs in and resists. If I want the object back, I just ease up and almost let go, and she releases. In the same way, the more you resist your folks, the more opposition you will meet.
What you have to do is to quit trying to convince them how great he is. If he is a gentleman of character, purity, faithfulness and honesty, then these qualities will become obvious to your parents. Instead of playing tug-of-war with your mom and dad, try to see why they don't like him. Maybe you know exactly why they disapprove of him, but you have just gotten over it, you don't see it as a problem, you think he'll change, or you want to improve him.
I once read about a couple named Rich and Christy who were high school seniors deeply in love. Instead of merely sending text messages and emails back and forth, they hand-wrote their love letters. Unlike so many relationships marred by drama and regret, their love was wholesome and innocent. However, when Christy’s father realized how attached the two were becoming, he decided to intervene. While driving alone in the car with Rich, the father asked, “So what’s this I hear about you and Christy?” He went on to inform Rich that he would prefer they not date. He wasn’t boorish about his wishes, but spoke with kindness about the risks of getting too emotionally involved when marriage is still many years away.
Initially, Rich saw the wisdom behind his words and agreed that he and Christy would just be friends. Such a resolution was easier said than done. It wasn’t long before they began seeing each other behind her parent’s backs. The secret relationship continued for a few months, but they neither of them were at peace. Rich told Christy, “We have to tell your parents. We can’t go on like this.” But before they had the chance, Christy’s father overheard her telling a friend about the relationship.
Rich was heartbroken and ashamed that he had deceived her parents and lost their trust. He promised that he would not do it again. He and Christy would need to make a clean break because their feelings were too strong to merely “just be friends.” As a sign of his commitment to step back, he asked Christy to return to him all the love letters he had written her.
However, the love story does not end there. That night, Rich returned to her house in the middle of the night with a shovel. Quietly, he dug a hole in her front lawn and buried in it a box filled with all the love letters they had exchanged—over one hundred pages. He closed the lid, took one last look at the box, patted down the dirt, and looked up at her quiet house. Speaking in his heart to God, he said, “If you want to dig this up some day, I know you can. But if not, this is where it will stay.” He knew that the only reason God would separate him from Christy permanently would be God has better plans in mind for the both of them. This was hard to imagine, but he trusted that God would know what was best. He knew that if it was God’s will for them to be together, honoring her parents could never stop that.
A month later, Rich and Christy headed off for separate colleges without saying goodbye. A year and a half later, the two still had not seen each other or even talked over the phone. One day, Christy called her mom from college and expressed how much she still struggled with the separation. Her dad was surprised to hear how Rich had followed through with his promise. He knew how much she meant to Rich, and how hard it the separation must have been for him as well.
Almost two years after their breakup, Christy’s father called him and asked if they could meet at his office. When Rich arrived, the father expressed his gratitude for his deep integrity and character. By letting go of Christy, it showed that Rich trusted that her dad only wanted what was best for her. Before their conversation ended, the father told him that he thought the couple was in a better place to begin a courtship.
The couple began their friendship anew and eventually began a long-distance courtship. A few months before college graduation, Rich celebrated Christmas morning with Christy’s family in Virginia. That morning, he handed her a small box that contained a tag from the nursery for a Red Maple tree. She wasn’t expecting a tree for Christmas, and did her best to act impressed. The family knew of his plans, and could hardly contain their excitement. Her father blurted, “Why don’t you go plant it in the front yard.” Rich grabbed her arm, and they walked outside to where the tree and a shovel were waiting.
Rich stood over the place where he had previously hidden the box of letters, and began to dig while Christy stood by, breathing in the crisp winter air. His heart must have raced as his shovel finally reached the box. He couldn’t wait for her to see one final letter that he added to the box, four years earlier when he buried it. This love letter—which she had never seen before—said everything about his love for her. It was a marriage proposal. As she read the words, he dropped to one knee and presented her with an engagement ring. Needless to say, she said “Yes.”
Let there be no doubt that God honors those who honor him, and that he always gives his best to those who leave the choice with him.