Imagine the violin beginning to play as wedding Mass begins. The crowd rises to their feet in anticipation as the shadow appears behind the doors at the back of the Church. The doors to swing open, and everyone begins to cry tears of joy as the groom walks in, and they sing, "Here comes the groom!" He slowly marches down the aisle, arriving at the altar to meet his bride who lifts his veil, to see this prize of a man who has accepted her invitation to marriage.
Sound messed up? It is. If a guy is so passive and indecisive that he won't pop the question, do you really want to spend the rest of your life with him? The man should initiate the marriage. It's romantic, it honors to the woman, and it's a sign of Christ's love for his bride, the Church. People are free to do it otherwise, but I don't think many girls grow up dreaming how they are going to pop the question to Mr. Wonderful.
I remember a homily a priest gave on our college campus. He asked the young women in the congregation, "How many of you had a date this week?" Barely any of them raised their hand. Then, he said to the men, "We've got a lot of work to do on you guys." I'm sure the women wanted to give him a standing ovation.
The priest was right. Too many men are pansies when it comes to initiating love, because they fear commitment or rejection. Women try to solve this by either being aggressive or promiscuous, but they only shoot themselves in the foot. This is because guys don't really want a woman who throws herself at him. Because she appears desperate, she's less attractive. So where does this leave the girls? They assume that if they are passive, they will get left alone, and if they are pure, then they'll intimidate guys. But if they're aggressive and impure, they'll get used. As the expression goes, "Why buy a cow when you can get the milk for free?" Therefore, many women feel as if they just can't win.
How did we get here? It is unfair to entirely blame either the men or the women, because we have both played a role. Instead of placing blame, what is needed is an entire cultural shift. If you have a nation of women who are patient, confident, and pure, you will have a nation of men who will rise up to earn their love. There is no overnight solution. Our culture did not become like this overnight, and it will not be quickly healed, either.