I was dating a possessive guy, who cheated on me. We broke up, but got back together. He said that when he was kissing that other girl, all he could think about was me. I'd do anything to make him happy, but I don't want to get hurt. What should I do?

This may be hard to hear, but girl, you have to let go, stand up, and get out. You need the space to ask yourself why you are so desperate for the affection of an unfaithful and possessive guy. I'm sure as soon as you read these words about him, you mentally try to defend him and think of all the nice things he says to you. But I beg you to trust me on this, and get out.

Guys who are possessive often make the girls feel guilty for doing what the guy is actually doing behind her back. This is like a smokescreen that keeps her from making the same accusations at him, because she's too busy trying to defend herself. It's an emotional manipulation, like when he says he's thinking about you when he's cheating on you. Why can't he be thinking about you when he's being faithful to you?

When he finished up with this other girl, he jumps back to you and probably says things like, "Baby, you're the only one for me. I've never felt this way about anyone else. Everything with that other girl, I don't even know what I was thinking. I love you more than anything on earth. Blah blah blah. Wah wah wah." Talk is cheap.

Why are you confused? If any other guy was playing a friend of yours like this, you'd be able to spot it a mile away. The guy is immature. He can not give you what you long for. Your relationship was unhealthy to begin with, with the jealousy and fighting, and no matter what he says, I do not believe that he has had any life-changing experiences since he cheated on you. I'm sure he says he's a changed man. But if he is, then he'll still be changed in five years. Tell him to come back then.

Do not be blinded by your desire to find love, but have the wisdom and courage to listen to your heart. When a girl says that she would do anything to make a guy happy, this does not mean that she loves him. It often means she is infatuated and desperate. What it really means is that she is not ready for a relationship, no matter how much she may want one. When she dates to fill her emotional needs, she often ends up compromising her values for the sake of keeping a guy who is using her.

You deserve something so much better. Be patient for it to come to you. Think: who were you in love with four years ago? Odds are, you thought he was gorgeous, but he probably put erasers in his nose. Now, consider where you will be four years from now. Hopefully, it will not be in a roller coaster of a relationship with a guy who is desperate for you as soon as he's not busy with another girl.

Pray for wisdom. I am serious. Pray for the gift of wisdom, that you can see the truth, and not fall for the counterfeits of love. In the meantime, DO NOT get back into a relationship with this guy, no matter how sweet and charming he may be. If he really wants to be with you, then he needs a clear break from relationships in general to get his feet on the ground and grow up. Don't let him manipulate your feelings with guilt or romance. If he does not respect you saying "no" to this relationship, then it is yet another sign that he does not love you. This may hurt to realize, but by accepting the truth and moving on, you can begin the healing process and save yourself from even greater harm.